F For Family-ABC Wednesday

ABC Wednesday, My F for the previous round is Follow, and for this round is for “Family”. What about yours?

When I talk about family, many times, I asked myself, what is most important-- Making yourself happy or the people who surround you?

I came from a small and simple family, with open minded parents, but my husband’s family is a very traditional Chinese family, with a lot of brothers and sisters…It is hard for me while trying to please everyone but in the end it result in making myself unhappy. In such a traditional Chinese family, everyone, mother-in-laws, sisters-in-laws, brothers-in-laws, all of them try their best to change “me”, they were trying to change my character, my life style, even my religion…When they realized that I am actually is a nut, all the quarrels start…I am not saying I am always right, I don’t request them to agree with me, I like to dress as I like, that is my life style; I like to live the life as I planed, that is my life; I believe in God, I don’t believe in their Buddha, that is my religion, however, I didn’t harm anyone in the family, I didn’t hurt anyone in the family, why can’t they respect me as I wanted to respect them.

Maybe I am a outsider who came from other country , married to a husband who is Singaporean. There are really a lot of conflict in cultures and life style...I am not sure how many people like me, married to a Singaporean, and just can not get along with the in-laws. I am curious and want to know how they get along with the in-laws family? In my simple mind, love is great, marriage is great, family is relationship between husband and wife, parents and kids only…But actually I am wrong, I am really really wrong. The word “Family” in Chinese means a lot more, a lot more complicated relationship. I am wondering what other culture is, but I am really tired.

What are the most important things among the family members ? Respect, Trust and Truth-Isn’t these three?

If you are a boss, yes, you can ask your staffs follow you, listen to you. But in a family, there is no one is boss ! Something seems wrong to you does not mean it isn't the perfect move for others. The world is made up of so many different types of people, why Singaporean (not all but most) always want things their way. Especially as a daughter-in-law, she has no right to lead her own life in her own way, she is expected to be a robot and follow what the elders said.

The result is every one not happy.

One single impression : win

My dear baby
Yes, I would like to see you win
Take home the big prize,
With the best result in the class
Which parent don’t like to see their kid win
Medals, honors and scholarships are always great
But my dear baby
Someone win some other lose
That is the rule in every competition
There is success there is failure
Yes my dear baby
I want you always win
Even when you lose
I want you
Overcome the fear of failure
Overcome the fear of being rejected
Win or lose
I am proud of you
Trying your best in participating the exam
And being you
------P.S: This poem was written for my dear daughter, after the PSLE (the Primary School Leaving Examination) result released, she was in a low mood for a few days, as just a 3 marks lower than the last year cut off point, she may not have chance to go into NJC, so called one of the best top five secondary schools in Singapore…She felt so sad and I just can’t help much, maybe I have given her too much pressure in the past few years, that is why she is so not satisfied of her such a good result (yeas to me, to a lot of other children and parents, her result is really really more than good enough)…Is there any problem in our education system?

I wish I could cheer her up and God bless for her dream come true… 

Find more poems at One Single Impression

Blue sky - weekend reflections #18

Christmas blue

Blue is my most favorite color, it is cool, but sometime can be a bit sad, right?

Anyway I am sharing some of my favorites "Blue" here with Midweek Blues here, continued from my previous post: Christmas month 2010 at Orchard road. Wishing all of  you have a very happy Christmas Month of December.

Christmas month 2010 at Orchard road

Christmas decoration at Orchard road...

I don’t really enjoy walking along Orchard Road, except during Christmas time. This time around- there are many big and elaborate Christmas decorations along the Orchard Road, as usual it is still a bit overwhelming by too many designer stores and tons of people. It is quite funny to see many local Singaporean wearing flip-flops and sundresses walking past snowmen and reindeer, taking photograph under the fake Christmas tree. A Christmas without the real Christmas trees, without the snow and without the Christmas mood, Christmas here is shopping, shopping and still shopping. Sigh.
The pictures posted here are just a few of the many pictures I took while walking along the street…

The modern building ION Orchard on the right. At night, the whole front of the building lights up in all different colors, a big Christmas tree in front of the building.

The theme for this year's Christmas light-up is "Starlit Christmas" with the decorations revolving around the star representing love, peace and joy.

Orchard Road has been divided into three colour segments - pink representing peace, blue representing joy and purple representing love.

And I love the big teddy bear in front of Takashimaya, "Live, Laught, Love"-yeah, my own wish for the coming new year 2011.

Lovely green - weekend reflections #17

weekend reflection weekend reflection

Autumn leaves- weekend reflections #16

Another photo was taken in Germany, I love the yellow beautiful autumn color.

Falling in love
With autumn leaves
They have the smell of home

Rain water - weekend reflections #15

I was so happy to have a few hours of the sunshine after so many days of cold and rainy weather, wile walk alone to the car park, I saw the tree reflections in the rain water on the road…That was a happy surprise for me, sometime back in Germany …