Six words Saturday for this week: “I really don't like you, Mommy.”
“I don’t like you Mommy!” I though I was the only one who heard this words until I read this post.
Have you ever heard from your kids said that:" I don’t like you Mommy" ? Do you feel hurt? I did.
My daughter doesn’t tell me in person, but she wrote in her diary and blog, “I really don’t like my Mommy.” Just because I forced her to learn Chinese, just because I didn’t allow her to chat online with friends…
I am wondering how are you going to do if your children tell you something like this. Anyway, this is always my answer to her: “ It's not my job for you to like me but it's my job to guide you to grow into a person I like.” That is my answer to her, with smile and firm. Although I am really hurt.
Am I wrong? Anyway now she doesn’t tell me or write such words already. She knows I love her.
Six Words Saturday No 5
Stay at home moms, build your own pink mood
What is the something sweet? For example, I will buy some fresh flowers, ruby tulips, and make a pretty bouquet give her as a surprised present for no reasons. Just to tell her: “You are a good girl, I love you so much.”
Sounds familiar?
I am not a stay at home mom, I am working for a full time job. But I really understand what you complain about, my friends. Here are some of my personal tips I would like to share with you.
I call it build a pink mood for yourself. What is pink mood? Pink color is sweet, pink color is romantic, pink color is young. Yes, that’s all, build your own pink mood, stay young, be romantic, be sweet.
Be young. Although all the cosmetic does help in look old. But still exercise is the best. If you're feeling antsy, go for a walk or a jog. Exercise will keep you healthy, It also help you clear your mind and relax when you're feeling overwhelmed. Exercise is different from doing housework, a lot of my friends they exercise enough in the housework. No, that is not exercise, exercise means you relax your mind, relax your body. You can choose outdoor or indoor exercise, keep an hour a day for yourself, just for yourself and treat your body good.
Be sweet. No one likes to be nagged for whole day. Remember what we hate most in our childhood time? We didn’t like our parents nagging to us, right? Same rule apply to our kids and spouse. Nagging makes us feel bad about ourselves. We really don't want to be bad-tempered badgering person. We will look old and ugly when we are that way. Most of the time, nagging doesn't work, we must find more effective ways to communicate with our spouse and kids. Why we, moms like to nag, because we expect too much on our kids and husband, we expect kids will be as good as we wanted, they will do the homework once back home instead playing computer game, we expect husband will help in washing the dish after the dinner…When they don’t do whatever things as we expected, we start to feel disappointed, and start to nag…I don’t feel that is a good way, for me I will say some sweet words to my daughter, most of the time she will be very happy to help me in house work. So I will have more free time to think of something sweet to make her more happy.
ow about you, I am sure some of you who are reading this post, are stay at home moms too. Do you have a happy pink mood?
Visit Ruby Tuesday, meet a lot of wonderful blogging friends there, that is another way to stay in happy, build your happy pink mood.
Say No To Your Kids
Same as all other mums, I want all the best for my daughter, but truly what is the best? Giving her every little whim, wish and want that they have, or giving them their basic needs and only some of their wants or wishes?
When your young kid is laid out on the floor bawling over wanting a candy bar in the grocery store, What will you do? We all admit that it would be easy to give in than to say, “no”. However, it really is best to say “No”. Because you know what will happen the next time around if you give in and say ‘Yes”. This is still a easy handle case, when she is very young, you are easy to say "NO".
When she grows up as a teen age girl, you will have a lot of more difficult time to say "NO".
When she asks for something expensive she may not need it but she wants it just because her friends have it, will you fulfil her wish?
"No."-That is always my answer. But how and what to explain to her the reason you rejected her request?
"I don't have much money, I am not as rich as your friend's mum. " " You always ask me buy so many things, you think I am running a bank? " etc. These are all the answers that a lot of mums like to give the children.
For me, I won't give such lousy reason. I feel there is no good impact for young kids, your words forced them to compare between rich and poor even they don't really understand them, your words make them feel lost too, in their heart they will start to critics you as a parent the ability to provide them all the best in life. I will ask her if she really need it or just because she saw friends have it? I will explain to her why she can't have it, tell her I feel the price is too expensive, I will tell her for the same price we may get more other useful things to use in life...She need to understand the value of a buck and understand that they don’t always get their own way.
When she have planed to go to friend's birthday party. But she doesn't finish her homework as agreed. Will you tell her she is not allowed to go to the party?
Most of the mums will turn soft hearted when they see the cow tears are flying and it’s breaking a mum's heart to have to ground her from going. You may change your mind that she could start her punishment after the party. Once you give in to your own softness in heart, I bet you will be very difficult to handle her in future, she will not be responsible to any work she need to finish on time in future.
Am I so hard-hearted?
Will you say "No" to your lovely princess?
Everyday Lessons In Life
Do you use the everyday things in your life to teach your children? I do.
Small things such as folding clothes, making coffee, watering plants, sweeping the floor etc are important life lessons for the growing kids. Those small things teach her lessons such as being responsible to the work were given, showing care and love to family...There are many lessons that can be learned through everyday activities. I believe that the best lessons in life are truly caught, not taught. Our children catch the things that we are teaching them by our own actions much more than the lessons that we try to preach to them with our words.
My girl, she always quickly notice when my words don’t match my actions. For example, I ask her to switch off light when not using it but I myself always the one who forget to switch off light and fan. :) I am teaching her to make friends with different people, but I am the one who is quite choosey on friends, I will go silent if I don't like the person, I just can't be the type can easily get any topics to talk with people, I hope she can do something I am unable to do, it is good for her in future society, But I think it is difficult for her...She doesn't learn much of my good points of my character but pick up a lot of my weak points. It makes me sad. When I realize all these, she is already 12 years old, I hope it is not too late to give her some good example.
So, be aware of your actions and be thoughtful and mindful of the lesson that your children are catching from you as you do every day. Maybe you’ll be more careful now as you realize the impact that the actions you show daily can truly impact the lives of your children in both positive and negative ways.
Forever Friends
One of the wonderful things in my opinion about having a daughter is having a forever friend, though you can’t be just her friend especially during her teen ages, you have to maintain discipline and be a mum, but you can be a friend as well. You can share a lot of things what you can't share with sons. Those things are including some secrets between you and your daughter, between two ladies...
I am happy I have an honor to be a mom and my daughter so called “friend”. What about you? Are you your daughter’s forever friend?
Her Secret
Growing up, my dad was one of my best friends. I almost told him everything happened in my life. I knew, he was the only friend I really could count on, that I knew when I told her something in secret it wouldn’t go any further. My secrets were always safe with him. I was growing up happily.
Now I am a mother. It is my turn to listen to my daughter's secret.
Everyone has secret, especially as a growing up kid, they have more secret. Why some people are not so close to their parents, I believe one of the reasons is that they seldom share their children's secrets, especially during the children growing up period.
Parents are always teaching too much on how children should do, but listen too little what children want to do.
I always try my very best to provide my daughter two listening ears when I am at home. She likes to tell me all sorts of funny things happening in the school. She tells me about her friends, her teachers, her happiness and her fears. One day she told me she love one boy in her class. "LOVE" ? I almost want to laugh, HaHa! She was 9 years old that time. But I didn't laugh at her, in fact, I listened to her, "Does he handsome? " "Is he your good friend? " I asked her some this kind of questions. You may think that I am a silly mum. But I can tell you I communicated well with my parents during my growing up times. So do I now. I communicate well with my daughter during her growing up. I do share with her a lot of my own opinions, my secrets such as how I got married to her dad, how I have been gone through a time period being a new wife, a daughter-in-law in a big family...That is a good feeling if you can share some secrets with your kids even those secrets actually are very small matters and looks silly in life. Because I am listening to her secrets and my lips are sealed, for example when she asked me to keep the secret from the father, I will do that. I gain her trust so I gain the chance to guide her grow up healthy and happily. Although a lot of time the news she shares isn’t exactly what I am as a mom want to hear. But I know that is when it is even more important that I am there for her to listen when she shares.
How about you, do you share your secrets with your parents? Do you share your secrets with your children?
