Say No To Your Kids

Same as all other mums, I want all the best for my daughter, but truly what is the best?  Giving her every little whim, wish and want that they have, or giving them their basic needs and only some of their wants or wishes?

When your young kid is laid out on the floor bawling over wanting a candy bar in the grocery store, What will you do? We all admit that it would be easy to give in than to say, “no”. However, it really is best to say “No”.  Because you know what will happen the next time around if you give in and say ‘Yes”. This is still a easy handle case, when she is very young, you are easy to say "NO".

When she grows up as a teen age girl, you will have a lot of more difficult time to say "NO".

When she asks for something expensive she may not need it but she wants it just because her friends have it, will you fulfil her wish?

"No."-That is always my answer. But how and what to explain to her the reason you rejected her request?

"I don't have much money, I am not as rich as your friend's mum. " " You always ask me buy so many things, you think I am running a bank? " etc. These are all the answers that a lot of mums like to give the children.

For me, I won't give such lousy reason. I feel there is no good impact for young kids, your words forced them to compare between rich and poor even they don't really understand them, your words make them feel lost too, in their heart they will start to critics you as a parent the ability to provide them all the best in life. I will ask her if she really need it or just because she saw friends have it? I will explain to her why she can't have it, tell her I feel the price is too expensive, I will tell her for the same price we may get more other useful things to use in life...She need to understand the value of a buck and understand that they don’t always get their own way.

When she have planed to go to friend's birthday party. But she doesn't finish her homework as agreed.  Will you tell her she is not allowed to go to the party?

Most of the mums will turn soft hearted when they see the cow tears are flying and it’s breaking a mum's heart to have to ground her from going.  You may change your mind that she could start her punishment after the party. Once you give in to your own softness in heart, I bet you will be very difficult to handle her in future, she will not be responsible to any work she need to finish on time in future.

Am I so hard-hearted?

Will you say "No" to your lovely princess?

Is He Married?

Some ladies get a shock of their life when they discover that the man they are dating with already has a family and kids...It is already too late when they find out the truth, it is difficult for them to let go of the relationship completely and ends up being the secretive mistress. Even if they can come out from the shadow but also get heartbroken as they had already given our their hearts out to the man.

I am wonder if there is an online marriage record resources for people to check a person marriage status, it will help if before their relationship develops further. Is there a web site to check anyone marriage status by just entering some simple particulars.

Just some though came to my mind this morning when I read the news said some ladies from oversea fall in love with Singaporean without knowing that they are already married.

Everyday Lessons In Life

Do you use the everyday things in your life to teach your children?  I do.

Small things such as folding clothes, making coffee, watering plants, sweeping the floor etc are important life lessons for the growing kids. Those small things teach her lessons such as being responsible to the work were given, showing care and love to family...There are many lessons that can be learned through everyday activities.  I believe that the best lessons in life are truly caught, not taught.  Our children catch the things that we are teaching them by our own actions much more than the lessons that we try to preach to them with our words. 

My girl, she always quickly notice when my words don’t match my actions. For example, I ask her to switch off light when not using it but I myself always the one who forget to switch off light and fan. :) I am teaching her to make friends with different people, but I am the one who is quite choosey on friends, I will go silent if I don't like the person, I just can't be the type can easily get any topics to talk with people, I hope she can do something I am unable to do, it is good for her in future society,  But I think it is difficult for her...She doesn't learn much of my good points of my character but pick up a lot of my weak points. It makes me sad.  When I realize all these, she is already 12 years old, I hope it is not too late to give her some good example.

So, be aware of your actions and be thoughtful and mindful of the lesson that your children are catching from you as you do every day.  Maybe you’ll be more careful now as you realize the impact that the actions you show daily can truly impact the lives of your children in both positive and negative ways.

Love Test

How Compatible Are You With Your Lover?

Forever Friends

Mother and Daughter Crossing Ancient Street, Pompeii, Italy  

One of the wonderful things in my opinion about having a daughter is having a forever friend, though you can’t be just her friend especially during her teen ages, you have to maintain discipline and be a mum, but you can be a friend as well.  You can share a lot of things what you can't share with sons. Those things are including some secrets between you and your daughter, between two ladies...

I am happy I have an honor to be a mom and my daughter so called “friend”.  What about you? Are you your daughter’s forever friend?

About Me

Every blog should have something "About Me", so readers can know who is the person behind all the words.

Here are some "About Me"

I am a working mother, I am a wife who married to Singaporean. I am trying hard to find the balancing between work and home; I am trying my best to get along with the local society mostly I refer to my neighbourhood and in-law's family; I am trying my best to be a good wife, a good mum and a good Singaporean. I am trying to get the humor in all situations and try not to take myself too seriously. :)

I enjoy reading with a cup of tea; I appreciate all hand made crafts; I like to take pictures of everything in life; I blog about almost anything and like to hear from you about this journey I call life.

Empty Promise

Have you noticed that when we are so in love and we feel we have found the right person, we really want to be the best for that person? We even promise to steer clear of our vices, the bad habits, and unpleasant behaviours.
But mostly that is only before we get married. I noticed too that after marrying the right person our promises remain to be broken.

So don't ever married to a person who wants to change you or you want to change him (her). Love the person as whom he (she) is.

Would You Quit Your Career for Husband?

"Will you quit your career for your husband?" I was asked by a lot of people, when I just came to Singapore, married to my husband. I was expected to be a house wife, stay at home, take care of in-laws, and may be a few of kids. :)

There are women who would quit her fine jobs for their man, but that is not me for sure.

I have seen a lot of women, they are very smart, they are very happy when they are single, but once they get married and choose to stay at home, everything changed. A small matter can make them upset for sometime, and their mind become negative, especially those who are from other country and married to Singaporean, they have few friends here, most of them came from different background and culture from husband's family, staying at home makes their life become very narrow, they can't find a friend to talk to when they have problems. That is why a lot of family problems occur. There are a few examples already.

I am a one so called “外来新娘”,I just want to say women should be more wise and calm when making such important decisions that may change our whole life track. Staying at home without works, your independence would be influenced, slowly you will lose your confidence too. There are a lot of uncertain things in life, no one will know what will happen in future, one certificate can only certify the relationship in a marriage, but not love. I'm not talking about disappointed stuff here, it's just we need to be wise and more prepared for the future uncertainty.

Independence and confidence are two important traits that we shouldn't lose even if we are married to a man with a lot of money. Women who totally dependent on men would under serious risk by time goes, men won't love you more just because you give up your own career, men who really loves you would be also respect you and your career.

So, would you quit your career for husband?